I always dreaded my a1c tests. I would do anything to get out of going. Fake sick, be out of town, absolutely could not get out of work that day… all because I knew when I went, I would have a high result. I would even try to cram in the best numbers I could get the month before the visit so my doctor wouldn’t fuss for me not having enough readings ( I would actually go an entire week without testing at times before this month came!!! AAAH!!) and causing the high numbers. And truth be known, I was just in denial of what was really going on. I was diabetic, always had been, I just didn’t want to be. I thought if I just ignored it, it wouldn’t matter and I’d be just fine. After all, I had lived this long, why would anything happen to me if I continued on? Well, I am here to say that I was terribly wrong. You can’t hide from diabetes, it’s a part of you. You can’t ignore it, it will let itself be known one way or another. When I finally opened my eyes, I realized what I was doing to myself. I didn’t know just how terrible I felt everyday until I started doing what I was supposed to do. I also didn’t realize the damage that was being done…
My turning point came after I turned 23 (19 years post-diagnosis). After being married for a few months, conversations started to lead to the subject of pregnancy at some point in the next few years. I knew I had always been told that your a1c has to be perfect before getting pregnant, so I started testing and doing as told. Now, my a1c is not perfect, but it is improving. The damage that was being done has reversed. The tables of diabetes are being turned. I am now controlling my diabetes, it’s not controlling me. The biggest improvement is that now, I look forward to my doctor visits and a1c tests. I even have a countdown clock on my computer desktop that tells me how many days I have left to go until the next appointment and test. I am excited and have fingers crossed that it will be better than the last one. I may not be on target yet, but if I’m even just a smidge closer or even right where I was last time, I will see it as having done a good job. And if it’s higher, I may throw a little fit at first, but I will pick myself up and start my countdown again. Life is too precious to not take care of yourself and enjoy it.
By the way, as of today, I have 31 one days left on my countdown. Check back in late September for the result!